By reading this post, it can single-handedly change your life.
(Now I know this is a bold claim, but give me a chance here…)
Today I want to talk about one of the greatest turning points of my entire life, and quite possibly will be yours as well depending on where you’re at in your personal development and evolution.
That concept is authenticity. Being REAL. Getting to the bottom-line TRUTH about ourselves.
The title of this blog will hit you on a deeper level once you go through this post. I’ll never forget the day I changed forever…
Growing up I was OBSESSED with getting physically fit and having big muscles. I remember all the kids on my street got Super Nintendo systems for Christmas and all I wanted more than anything was a Weider starter bench press set. The weights added up to a whole whopping 95 pounds!! As soon as I got it, I would be in the garage day and night pumping away. Since that day I’ve always had a burning desire for working out and keeping myself in shape, but the funny thing is, up until the “turning point” as I’ll describe below, looking at me you couldn’t tell if I lifted weights or not.
I spent the next 5 years of my life working out VERY hard, with little or nothing to show for it. And then I found out why. One day it all just clicked for me. I was sitting on the bench press, struggling with a measly 115 pounds, trying with all my might, and I realized something profound. I was pain dodging. The ENTIRE time I worked out I would never keep my form slow, controlled, and proper. I just couldn’t leave my ego at the door and accept the fact that I was truly a skinny weakling and I wasn’t this big muscle man I dreamed of being since a little boy (ego).
It was almost painful to see it. I got a brief glimpse of awareness. ANY time you guys get these sudden bursts of awareness, be THANKFUL. DO NOT suppress and shove the truth back down into your subconscious because it hurts you to see the truth. This is destructive in the long term and virtually kills your progress and growth. See the thing is, my form was always shitty. I would put on more weight than I could handle and press it up really fast, hard and awkard to satisfy and massage my ego. Sure it felt great to my “big muscle man pumping heavy iron” ego, but deep down was I truly making ANY progress towards my goals of getting stronger and buffer?
…And if I continued down this path I doubt I would ever make any real progress at all. It was as if I was walking up to a 3000 pound car and trying to lift it with all my might, failing to accept the fact that I needed to start with the 25lb dumbells in my room before I EARNED that lift. End result focused, aka “Magic Pill Mindset”. The failure to accept the long hard road of sacrifice in pain (without which we would have NOTHING, no great achievements in humanity) in the long run ends up hurting you rather than helping you if you buy into it.
And the same philosophy applies to any endeavor or goal you take on in life. Whether it’s getting healthy and buff, picking up girls, or learning to play a musical instrument. You’re going to have to accept there’s a whole DEEP level of Mastery and learning involved. (Read George Leonard’s book “Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment” if you haven’t already, seriously it’s short and it’ll change your work ethic for the rest of your life. Super productivity and RESULTS will come flooding in..)
I want you to from this moment forward strive for authenticity and honesty. One of the key qualities of Great Men, Leaders, and Alpha Males is that they are brutally honest with themselves at all times. You *MUST* become brutally honest with yourself in all areas or else you will not make any, or at best, very little progress. The funny thing is, once I accepted to be strong in the gym I TRULY HAD TO BE. STRONG. IN. THE. GYM. (sounds simple, but there’s depth to these words, reread them) then my progress immediately EXPLODED. I accepted that I had to knock off 45 pounds on all my lifts and start from the beginning bottom line with PROPER PERFECT FORM AND TEMPO. I took a deep breath, accepted it, and started over this time right.
And you know what?
I made MORE progress in that one single month of training than I did in the last 3 years!!!!!
So if you’re nervous around girls, start off with approaching until you don’t feel nervous. “Progress” for you might mean getting put into the friend zone because suddenly now you’re just boring conversation platonic man – but hey, you’re not shaking in fear anymore ;). Ouch I know. Your ego of being a badboy player pickup artist just got stabbed, but unless you take on learning to be awesome with girls like this, then when you roll up trying to work on roleplays and teasing and escalation and advanced qualifying etc etc etc you’ll just be getting better at 5% of 300 things rather than truly mastering and fully internalizing each piece and moving on. So now you’re comfortable around girls and can open pretty well. Cool. But they put you in the friend zone?! No problem, now it’s time to master sexual framing/teasing/challenging and escalation.
Quit having a different mission everytime you leave the house. You’ll never get ANYWHERE with this. Understand and accept that you suck with girls right now (if you do) that’s OK, so did I and everyone else. Heroes are not born, they are MADE.
In neurobiology there’s a concept called long-term potentiation and short term potentiation. Long-term potentiation is when a net of neurons is linked up when a task or thought loop is repeatedly fired, hard wiring and making that task easier in the future. This process then runs on autopilot and you do not have to think about it anymore. (Tying your shoes, playing a song on guitar, or driving a car are examples.)
Short term potentiation is when you only fire a certain process once or twice randomly, no hard-wiring is established due to your brains finite resources. your brain assumes that task is not used often and is unimportant, so it doesn’t want to link up a neural net. (This is why learning a song at first on an instrument is so fucking hard…) As a result of the failure of not achieving long-term potentiation, your brain will not put this task on autopilot… therefore you will have to consciously think about it.
So what I’m getting at here is this; you guys need to stop “just going out” randomly approaching girls and then going home with not specific training goal in mind. This is not going to build up your Authentic pickup “alpha guy” skill set as fast as you would like. Instead, set out with SPECIFIC tasks, such as opening a LARGE VOLUME of sets so that it becomes NORMAL and on AUTOPILOT for you, or focusing on purely touching and escalating, or just using cocky funny / teasing ETC. Stop reading 1000 ebooks and trying to internalize and apply ALL the bits and pieces in one night. I’d hate to fuck your head up with some truth here, but the human mind just doesn’t learn this way – that’s called overload, freezing up, and ANXIETY in field.
Now this doesn’t mean go out, open, then when the girl is smiling at you twirling her hair you run away going “WELL I OPENED! BYE!” Definitely not – try to push each interaction to the MUTHUFUCKIN’ CLOSE, and realize anything after opening was a bonus lesson as your weakness and primary focus is simply opening right now[or whatever it may be]. Master and DO NOT underestimate the basics. Most game is textbook. Basics. Master the basics. Mastery by Leonard also delves into this, how underrated the basics are in our society today. Everyone is looking for the flashy tactics and tips. Noone wants to accept that building muscle is simply eating lots of good quality food, lifting heavy and hard, and getting lots of rest. Consumers today want the flashy new supplement or tactic. And if you guys want to read a book that really helped me out I definitely recommend you check out Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Incredible read, it will blow you away on the potentiality of the human mind and body. Also his websites free videos are pretty kickass as well; http://www.drjoedispenza.com/
I hope these resources help you guys master this whole learning process so you don’t flounder around in field and waste your time. Instead I want to see you guys getting ROCK SOLID RESULTS for the rest of your lives. These resources really helped me out a ton.
And the cool thing is, pickup is exactly like riding a bike, once you got it – you got it for life, and it becomes super enjoyable to hit the club. Addicting even.
Four levels of learning…
Unconscious Incompetence (You don’t know what you don’t know)
Conscious Incompetence (You’re aware you have no idea WTF to do and you suck at it)
Conscious Competence (You can do it but only with a lot of thinking and effort, like tying your shoe for the first time.. ” LITTLE BUNNY GOES *pant* UNDER THE BRANCCCHHH… *pant pant* UGGGHH…)
Unconscious Competence (You don’t even have to THINK about it. Sit down, tie shoe, done. And it was ENJOYABLE. 🙂 )
(this process is explained in depth in the book “Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment“)
Relax, learning this stuff is fun – and the end result is so pleasurable 8]
The inevitable learning process looks like this.. “Okay I suck and get nervous when I approach. ALL I’m gonna do tonight is focus on approaching sets until I feel comfortable and can vibe well for a few minutes, that’s it. If I get blown the fuck out, it was a GREAT night because hey, I OPENED.” Any lays you get using this AUTHENTIC skill building way are a bonus. (They’ll come haha.) But remember, gloating on success makes you stupid, extract learning lessons and reference experiences from your successes as well as from your failures. To me having a threesome and feeling scared around a cute girl are the EXACT same thing. What did I learn? Always ask yourself this. You’re new attitude is this:
“I’m super good – but I’ll get better.”
Never give up. Take the emotions completely out of it and analyze your progress and results from a purely LOGICAL perspective, this is our innate masculine ability.
Often times there are areas in our lives, let’s call them “loose-ends” that you haven’t brought completion to. Whether it’s being successful and natural with women(mastery), getting into shape, finally cleaning your car or organizing your workspace etc… these things DRAIN our energy and time. Often times we deny the reality right in front of our faces because it takes courage to truly take a good hard honest look at ourselves and where we’re at in the mirror. It’s a MAJOR stab to our egos. But a necessary step if you want to make rapid progress and evolution towards your goals in life.
I want your best friend right now to be your worst most intimidating enemy. Imagine you’re a boxer. Step into the ring and I want you to look your opponent dead in the eyes and say “Give me your best shot so that I know where my weakest spot is, and thanks for giving me that gift of awareness.”
This is what Shit Tests aka “Congruence Tests” are from women. When you reach a level closer to being your core strong Man best self, you will be thankful for these tests, and truly find them cute. It’s no coincidence the strongest Men get the hottest women, and the hottest women test hard. They test you because they want to feel your STRENGTH AS A MAN. You never put up with a woman’s shit, ever. And she’ll love you for that. In fact, it’s a powerful aphrodisiac for a woman when she can’t affect you with her little tests and measly attempts to shake you up or make you feel bad about your actions or desires – even sexually(and this goes for ‘opening to girls to God as well, read previous post). I have these hotties testing me even AS I’m fucking them, like, “COME ON!! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?! QUIT BEING SUCH A PUSSY FUCK ME HARDER!!!”
Women are AWESOME. They challenge us as Men to STEP THE FUCK UP. When you become fulfilled and authentically alpha, hot sexy women become the REWARD of your badass life on rock solid identity. We don’t attract in life what we WANT, we attract what we ARE. So you want a healthy, intelligent, cool, classy woman to stick around? Well hate to break it to you guys but unless you are intelligent, cool, healthy, and classy yourself why the fuck would she want to hang out with you after a one night stand? The rich don’t hang out with the poor. Now given, it CAN be done. I’ve fucked girls that I’ve felt were “more intelligent” or “more cooler” than me. How? STATE RULES ALL. Once you learn and get an intuitive feel for how to control a woman’s emotions, make her horny, and then ISOLATE AND CLOSE THAT HO you can fuck her for a little bit. Again women feel their emotions and surrender to them powerfully, even the smartest classiest ‘sophisticated’ ones are BEGGING to get BENT OVER. But the thing is, even after fucking them you’ll still feel you didn’t deserve it. This is what happened to me, it ATE me up inside and eventually they leave because nature plays out its part of the great Law of Justice and Order in the universe…
Anyyywayyss….a good woman will test you, HARD. This is a good thing because it honestly shows you we’re you’re at. This is her feminine gift to you. (Your Masculine Gift is penetrating her shit test by demonstrating strength and certainty for her and fucking her open to GOD in ravishing love (check previous post or that is gonna sound weird as fuck.)
The thing is guys, you can’t hide from her. You can never hide, if you’re nervous – she knows. If you’re turned on – she knows[that’s why it’s important to NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES AS A MAN, 100% unapologetic when you escalate]. If you like her – she knows[this is a good thing as well, girls WANT you to like them as long as you’re high value, cool, and NON NEEDY… MAN = WOMAN, think of it like this, wouldn’t you want a hot girl to “like” you? Well duh. She wants a hot guy to “like” her too]. If you feel incongruent and weird or guilty about being natural and grabbing her hand to lead her – she knows. Depending where you’re at this is both FRIGHTENING and LIBERATING because once you hit the level of an Authentic King, women become a source of pure fun and enjoyment for you because you TRULY feel at ease, confident, and strong around them. You have arrived.
I have girls punch me in the face, scream at me, do all sorts of CRAZY wacky shit, and it NEVER affects me. Truly. I smile, and calmly say “Hey, if you want to be my friend and have the privilege of hanging out in my social circle, don’t do that to me again – ever. Now let’s have some fun :)” FULLY in control. She then apologizes and I tell her she can “make it up to me later in the bedroom ;)” and she agrees. Think James Bond style.
I don’t care how hot you are honey, you don’t cross my boundaries. 🙂
You must have standards and BOUNDARIES. I see so many pussy guys let women treat them like shit, have integrity man, Jesus! Don’t get all worked up and yell at them back, I noticed a pattern among my unsuccessful with women guy friends – they all hate women. They get argumentative around them and call them bitches all the time. On the other hand, my friends who are total players LOVE women. They look at them like they are cute puppies licking their fingers who sometimes shit on the rug. What does being frustrated, negative, and argumentative around girls subcommunicate? That you’re NOT successful with women dude. Women can smell this a mile away.
I feel like I’m closer to my Authentic Man core self now. I’m thankful for the girlies’ tests, and even AMOGs tests (other dudes tooling you) because they give me the GIFT of awareness. I go “Okay when that dude was making fun of my shirt I kind of felt insecure about it, I need to work on not giving a fuck what others think in regards to my clothing because I fuckin’ LOVE this shirt.” Had that guy never made fun of me I would of never known this area was a weakness and needed work, THANKS AMOG!)
Get it? Cool.
To sum it up, I’ll leave with two AWESOME quotes… (Tao means “The Way” in eastern philosophy, in which one of my favorite stories this wise elder says “Ahhhh yes the West. Knowledge of many, Master of none.”)
The wise one hears of the Tao
and practices it dilegently.
The average student hears of the Tao
and gives it thought every now and then.
The foolish student hears of the Tao
and laughs aloud.
If there were no laughter
the Tao would not be what it is.
Hence it is said:
The bright path seems dim.
Going forward seems like retreat;
The easy way seems hard:
The highest Virtue seems empty;
Great purity seems sullied;
A wealth of Virtue seems inadequate;
The strength of Virtue seems frail:
Real Virtue seems unreal;
The perfect square has no corners:
Great talents ripen late;
The highest notes are hard to hear:
The greatest form has no shape:
The Tao is hidden and without name.
The Tao alone nourishes and brings everything to fulfillment.
Hopefully authenticity aka what is “real” is becoming more clear. Remember, what is REAL can NEVER BE THREATENED. And lastly…
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. -Albert Einstein
I know you guys are probably wondering how on earth do I become this authentic badass player around women so that one day I will just wake up and banging models will be like drinking a glass of water, don’t worry, more articles to come. Go ahead and subscribe on the right for future updates!
I’m off to hit the field guys. 9:17 on a Saturday night… CLUBS ARE ABOUT TO BE GETTING HOT YO’!!! TIME TO TEAR THIS SHIT UP,
BRINGING THE HEAT.
Go bring a smile to a girls’ face and want nothing more from her,