Fear is a powerful emotion, It literally paralyzes us, even strips us of our very basic innate Masculine strength – logic and rationality.
Fear is put in place from an evolutionary standpoint to keep you alive and keep you safe. It activates to get you to to NOT do something, or to think critically(overloaded thoughts and anxiety) about the situation in order to make the best possible decision to keep you alive, safe, and comfortable – that is, if you let it.
Today I want to share with you guys the number one philosophy that has helped me out TREMENDOUSLY in my life, and especially at getting very good with girls very fast.
And that is, having no regrets.
We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in a park, on the couch at the club, on the bus, wherever and then SHE sits down next you. Instantly you feel anxiety. “Fuck, I should open. What should I say? Man I hope I don’t look nervous or weird. Okay man just open her. No dude, open the next girl next time she isn’t even that hot. Come on man, just open. No you know what I’m not gonna open her, I’ll open the next one at the party this weekend.”
The sad realization is, not now = never. I want you guys to deeply internalize and live by these words.
NOT NOW = NEVER.
One day, you will be an old frail man laying in a hospital bed with your loved one’s surrounding you crying. Hours remain. You’re looking back on your entire life… are you all “Woulda’…Shoulda’…Coulda’…”
…or do you give a big cheeky grin, “Thank you God, I did it all. Goodnight.”
Where did the last 10 years of your life go? They literally BLEW by didn’t they? In the wink of an eye, I promise you your entire life will go by like *THAT* – I asked my grandpa about this and he told me he remembers being a 15 year old kid eating a bologna sandwich with his friends down by the docks, and before he knows it he’s talking to his grandson 50 years later. “It felt like yesterday” he said, with a melancholy distant, glazed over look in his eyes.
My point is gentleman, time will tick away for you whether you like it or not. You’re either growing & learning or staying the same stagnate you. The ONLY way to get good at this game is through MASSIVE SOCIAL REPETITION. You must engage as many sets as you can wherever you go to advance your skillset and get hotter and hotter women. Talking to LOTS and LOTS of women is is the only way you will get good, there is no way around it. Believing in a magic pill or quick-fix solution to your life’s problems and goals actually HURTS your progress.
So say you decide to man up and act, even though your voice is shaking. You turn and say “Hi. I’m Steve.” Even if you are fucking SHAKING when you talk to that girl and make total fool of yourself, guess what? That night you will be safely laying in your warm bed and you can gladly smile and day” Man, I’m glad I approached that girl today… I was really nervous and weirded her out but I learned it’s not that scary, and look, I’m still here breathing and learned a lot so my next approach will be better and I’ll be more comfortable!” Even if you advance your skillset by only .01%, that’s still an inch towards your goal.
There is no way around the learning process. Do NOT let your emotions control your logical result-based progress monitoring. I recently went down to LA to check out the Lovesystems Opening & Transitioning seminar (was Money as hell..) and one of my FAVORITE instructors of all time was going to select some names from a hat if we wanted to participate to critique our opening abilities in front of the ENTIRE SEMINAR GROUP. Instantly my heart began beating hard and fast. Now, in the moment I logically KNEW that this would greatly benefit me & my game and I would be looking back later that night thankful that I went through with it because the lessons learned would priceless and greatly help me and my game, but dudes I was fucking SHAKING nervous. My mind was SCREAMING at me not to write my name down & just sit there letting this pass me by, in fact out of the whole seminar only 6 other guys had the balls to put their names in the hat so I knew my chances of being picked were VERY high. I almost listened to my emotions, I almost just sat there silent, another door closed in my life. In that moment, I consulted my best self, and deep down no matter how shit scared and nerve-wrecked with fear I was on the surface, I acted. “Hey here’s my name!” I meakly called out, voice half-shaking handing the strip of paper to the instructor collecting the names. “Fuck.” I instantly said in my head “What the fuck did I just do.” But deep down, my best self was smiling. I knew this was right for me. I knew this was taking a VERY BIG step towards my goals. One more massive inch.
Long story short, my name DID get called, and yes, I DID have to make a complete fool out of myself in front of a whole group of men but you know what? After being up there nervous as fuck, my mind clicked. Suddenly, I relaxed. And felt fine. I looked up at the crowd, actually feeling comfortable. “See, it’s okay!” I told myself. “Wow, my emotions almost stopped me from doing this, I just got a massive blindspot removed by a top-level instructor and grew thicker skin to social pressure….”
A massive inch indeed.
Guys, we ALL feel fear. It is an essential part of being human. Even the girls feel fearful and nervous sometimes(once you get your game down tight the tables turn and girls will see you as the Hot total-10 guy you are, and THEY are the ones who get nervous!) The point is, no matter what, even if your knees are shaking, ACT towards what you KNOW is logically RIGHT and will deeply be BENEFICIAL to you. Every day take action steps towards realizing & actualizing your best self.
I remember when I first started college I didn’t know fucking ANYBODY. Literally. Not a single face. I was slightly shy growing up so I had to force myself to talk to strange new people on campus. It was scary. I even went out alone many nights to random parties I could find in a strange new college town, talk about centering yourself and facing your fears… But I did end up meeting some really cool guys who have been my best friends ever since. Had I listened to my emotions and choded the fuck out sitting at home I would have virtually NO social circle in college and be a total fucking miserable chode. My college experience would consist of me being on the computer in the corner of my dorm room all day and night. Wow sounds like a blast. I wasn’t about to let that happen.
So guys, I urge you to ALWAYS GO TOWARDS WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE, no matter what your emotions scream at you. I realized a key mindset of being an alpha guy is to never accept excuses. This means right action towards your SOUL’S CALLING.
Feel sick or tired from work / school and are tempted to miss that workout? Don’t, go workout NO MATTER WHAT. You’ll thank yourself later.
Feel scared to vibe with that”Alpha” cool guy at the party who you KNOW could be a great friend and teach you stuff to help out your own personality? Go talk to him.
Feel nervous and scared to go talk to that HOT perfect 10 (your perfect 10) even though deep down you KNOW that is the right kind of girl you want in your life?
Approach. Even if you fuck up, you are getting one inch closer to what you want and I promise you, your confidence and self-reliance will go up.
Confidence is EARNED through courageous action and maintained through your self reputation. Even if you go up a full fucking chode and she screams “Fuck off ugly loser!” And you walk off about to CRY, humiliated… dude. You APPROACHED. You will (later lol when the emotion chemicals subside) smirk and go, wow that was scary as fuck, but I feel like a Man. I ACTED in face of my crippling fear. And you’ll smile at that 10 and go, THANK YOU :). The next one will now become easier because of your thicker skin. I promise.
You know how I view all these sets? Practice for my Dream Wife. Someday when I’m done touring the world and fucking all the exotic sexy women of the lands, I am going to settle down, probably my mid 30’s, in a chill beach house in hawaii with my chosen woman of my dreams and raise a family. I want to be that woman’s dream Man as well… EXTREMELY talented in bed, not nervous AT ALL around her(being a Man for my family), possessing the ability to FULLY ENJOY/RAVISH/PLEASURE/PROTECT HER, being STRONG, DOMINANT, etc etc etc fill in traits as you see fit. But the thing is, these SKILLS only come from taking action, taking RIGHT ACTION. You CANNOT learn and get better with girls in any other way. All the mental masturbating and theory reading is fucking useless unless you go APPLY IT. Aka Talking to real live, hot blooded WOMAN.
It’s like you’re trying to play guitar so you buy every book and DVD product on it. You study the fretboard, theory, hand position, string skipping sweep picking… but you never pick up the guitar. What the fuck man! You’re gonna forget all that shit once you pick up the guitar and can barely pluck the first string. I’d hate to break it to you but in order to become a great guitarist, you’re going to have to miss a few notes along the way.
“If you want to make an omelet, you gotta crack a few eggs.”
So act in spite of your primal 1000-year-old mammalian brain’s irrational fear, and achieve what you want in your life. Do it. Do it starting today. Before you know it, you will build up such incredible snowball effect momentum that you will LAUGH at fear and courageously accept challenges. Welcome to the world of being an Authentic King.
So your new attitude is this, ” I am going after what I want. My mind, body, and emotions are coming along for the ride.” For those of you that have seen it, Tyler talks about this in the Blueprint as “GIVE ME THE MANUAL!!!!”
An remember, no matter how bad the emotions (surface level) or whatever happens to you may seem, underneath it all you will always be that unchangeable “watching presence” as Eckhart Tolle and may other great spiritual teachers call it. So go ahead, get the ticker going.
Some chick is crying outside, I gotta go check this out! =