It’s super, no let me say paramount, that whenever you’re in-field with a girl, you need to honestly asses where you’re at, and progressively desensitize yourself to more and more challenging situations.
Most guys use the ‘play your strengths” strategy to get laid. For example, they refuse to take their blinders off and look at where they are fucking up, because it hurts their ego too much.
Validation is their prime motivation for getting out there. They have mommy issues, or an empty hold inside they are trying to fill up. This is 90% of the “pua” community, who try to fuck girls for revenge and other weird reasons.
The number one reason you should be going after girls is for THE FUN OF SEX and the overall enjoyment of having hot girls in your life. If you’re going in for any other reason, consciously or unconsciously, stop the fuck now.
The #1 reason you need to NOT go after women for ego-strengthening idealism is because YOU WILL GET DESTROYED OUT THERE MAN!!
Girls will rock you, shake you, and break you. Girls throw the nastiest shit at men. If you are trying to massage, and hold on to, your perfect ego when you go out at night, you’re going to get completely fucking owned in the first set.
What to do?
The first step is to identify your weaknesses.
For me, this was holding eye contact and speaking. I know, it’s fucking weird, but for the longest time I couldn’t hold a conversation, not even with friends or family members. So what I did I do? I made it my personal mission to approach 1000 mixed groups and just try for small talk, me holding eye contact and speaking clearly. This was step 1 for me, way back in the day! I knew that was a huge weakpoint for me.
If you try to “approach the 10 and immediately hook up” it’s like walking in the gym
She has flaked off 1000 guys. She knows it all. She sees you from every angle. She wants a real Man. Maybe you’re just not there yet, or maybe you are: whatever the case may be, you need to identify your sticking points and get out there and hammer them out. Night after night.
Next step is to celebrate the small victories. Don’t expect to be perfect overnight.
For me, my starting goal was “just going out and being able to speak directly, cleanly, and confidently to a woman for 5 seconds.”
When I did it, hell onetime I got *gasp* 15 seconds without any weirdness coming in, I was ECSTATIC! I allowed myself to feel good, I was making progress. It was like a fat guy who lost his first 0.5lb. It’s slow steady progress, as is the truth with all gains. Look at nature for clues, the tiny seed takes like 25 years to grow into the massive oak tree. You can’t expect it to become the oak tree overnight and get pissed at it for not being one yet. It takes time, and a careful, loving, growth process.
Same goes for you man.
Girls will destroy you out there. Let them. You probably suck if you’re getting anything other than playful negative from women, or she’s just there for other reasons.
[Medieval Armor Suit In Museum]
A Woman is always checking for any chinks in the armor. You have to go out and work on these weaknesses if you ever want to attract and keep a total 10. These people [men, too] in life have choice with their dating partners. They are looking for something damn-near perfect out there in field, because they have so many members of the opposite sex throwing themselves at them constantly.
By being a guy who practices a lot and irons out all of his wrinkles in life, when you meet that really hot girl, you’ll be ready.
Get out there Kings,
Stay positive growing,